Mother-Daughter Duet by Cheri Fuller

Author:Cheri Fuller [Fuller, Cheri]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-1-60142-163-0
Publisher: The Crown Publishing Group
Published: 1973-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

GET A GRIP ON FEAR

Because we’re mothers, we think it’s our job to not only be concerned but to worry about our daughters’ spiritual life or lack of one. And if they’re not doing “well” by our standards, to remediate it. Yet if they sense continual fear in us, they will withdraw and tend to hide things from us.

I know it’s extremely difficult not to be anxious when a beloved daughter is going in the opposite direction that you feel and the Bible says leads to life. Maybe you pictured her teaching Sunday school or marrying a pastor. But she tells you she wants to go to India and sit under a tree to find herself, that she’s a Zen Buddhist, or perhaps shows no interest in God or traditional church at all. When you hear that, your heart aches.

That heartache comes from the fact that if we’ve committed our lives to Christ and dedicated this child to God, we moms feel it’s our responsibility to do all we can to lead her to Christ. And we do, all through their growing-up years. But if our deepest mission and goal is that our daughter walks in the truth (2 John 4), and she is not doing that in the way we think she should, anxiety arises. Is my daughter saved? Is she on a path of destruction? Will she ever come back to church? And if the mission isn’t accomplished yet, we can feel justified in interfering or giving lectures about what she ought to be doing—even throughout her whole adult life.

When all our daughter perceives in us is anxiety or control, we’re not demonstrating the very peace and faith we talk so much about. I was struck by what Wayne Jacobsen, author of He Loves Me! Learning to Live in the Father’s Affection, said about finding our own security in God’s love and our awareness of his unlimited patience with us and how this will redefine the other relationships in our lives. He goes on to explain:

Instead of demanding that others conform to what you think is right, you will find yourself letting others have their own journey. By no longer manipulating them to what you think is best you can allow them the same freedom God gives you. You will let them choose their own course based on nothing but the clarity of truth as they understand it and the willingness of their conscience. It is the task of the Holy Spirit to convict, not yours.3

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